MediaWatch-UK - Christianity - an immoral scam!
Christianity is one of the worlds biggest and most respected religions. Millions of people worldwide practise Christianity, it is the UK's national religion and even our revered royal family regularly attend church!
However having analysed the religion in some detail, MediaWatch-UK regrets to reveal that we have discovered Christianity to be nothing more than a huge, immoral scam designed to corrupt our children.
Sex Obsessed
At the centre of Christianity lies a book called the "Bible". Whilst at first glance it may seem innocuous enough, closer inspection reveals it to contain levels of sex, violence and vulgarity unparallelled in even the most vile television program. Amongst other unsavoury sexual practises, the Bible includes references to homosexuality, bestiality, polygamy, incest, rape and people having sex with their own parents. In fact MediaWatch researchers counted over 25 references to sex in the first book of the Bible alone!
Solomon the Slut
There have been many campaigns recently attempting to educate young people against sleeping around. Unfortunately the Bible somewhat counteracts these very positive moves by telling of a character (King Solomon) who has 700 wives and 300 concubines. Even if he was to have had a threesome every night it would still have taken him over a year to "work his way" round them all. Not only does the Bible fail to condemn this character for his sexual promiscuity, King Solomon is promoted as a good and wise King. In other words this most appalling of sexual deviants is cast as a role model!
Solomon is also responsible for a highly suggestive poem entitled "Song of Solomon". Amongst the many sordid lines on offer in this poem, the man at one point describes his lover with the words "My sister, my bride, you are like a garden locked up," 4:12. Other than the sister reference, which could be alluding to incest, this line is innocuous enough, that is until the next chapter when the man says "I have entered my garden, my sister my bride." 5:1. To make matters worse the same verse continues with a mutual friend commenting on proceedings! ("Eat, friends, and drink; yes drink deeply, lovers." 5:1) Is the bible alluding to an orgy? Or are they somehow suggesting that the friend was merely some sort of perverted voyeur? In either case MediaWatch-UK finds the entire revolting poem distasteful and offensive.
Extreme Violence
The perverted sexual obsession apparent in the Bible's authors isn't the only transgression which prompts us to call for it to be banned. The Bible also contains extreme levels of violence, both against people and animals. MediaWatch-UK campaigns heavily against violence in computer games and on television so we have no intention of accepting it in a book which our children are positively encouraged to read.
In the first volume of the book, "the old testament," violence is touted as the solution to most of life's problems. By chapter 4 of the first book in the Bible, Genesis, we have had the character Abel killing baby animals in the sort of ritual sacrifice one would normally associate with satanists! Shortly afterwards, in the same chapter, Abel's brother Cain murders him! Not the sort of brotherly love that one would expect to be taught in the most revered document of Britain's biggest religion.
Dys-fuck-tional
All in all the family touted as Earth's first is fairly dysfunctional. Once you factor in the fact that apparently only one family was created, the practical implications are that in order for people to be alive today fathers would need to have been screwing daughters, brothers sisters and mothers sons. As such the Bible is teaching that the sort of sexual deviances which would today result in a lengthy jail sentence were firmly established in humanity from, at the latest, the second generation!
The Bible doesn't actually condemn the incestuous behaviour of Adam and Eve's kin. But then as it only alludes to it, that can be forgiven. MediaWatch-UK however feels morally obligated to take action over the story of Lot. Lot is referred to in the Bible as being both "just" and "righteous" (2nd Peter 2:7-8) however MediaWatch-UK finds it hard to think of a more disgusting excuse for a human being, perhaps other than a Guardian journalist. When a perverted mob is trying to gain access to two angels who are visiting Lot he instead offers them his two virgin daughters and gives permission to "do ye to them as is good in your eyes," (Genesis 19:8.) Lot then leaves town to live with the same two daughters in a cave, gets drunk and fucks them both! (Genesis 19:30-38.) The end result is that both daughters ended up giving birth to sons, who were also their brothers and nephews. This sort of material would normally be cause for a book or television program to be banned and it's creators locked up! As such MediaWatch-UK cannot tolerate the hypocrisy of this material being accessible to children any longer.
Genocidal Deities
Returning briefly to the issue of violence, MediaWatch-UK could perhaps have let a single murder go. However the Bible positively revels in aggression. People are killed throughout in incredibly violent ways. Whores are stoned, heretics burnt, countless victims decapitated and countless animals slaughtered in frankly inhumane ways. There are also divine murders, often of entire villages, towns and cities. In one instance the entire population of earth, aside from one family, is cruelly drowned because God got a bit moody. It seems that our divine creator is inclined toward pretty bad temper tantrums, more akin to those of a petulant teenager than an almighty deity. Is this really a role model we should be allowing people to worship? MediaWatch-UK says no!
Jesus Christ - Not Just A Swearword
Christians worship a biblical character by the name of "Jesus Christ." Whilst Christians will often talk up the good aspects of this person, they tend, without fail, to omit his flaws. One of his major failings was consorting with the most undesirable characters in his society. Whether it was a prostitute, a leper or a tax collector, chances are Jesus would make friends with them and even profess LOVE for them. The character of Jesus Christ clearly encourages people to be friendly towards the detritus of our society. Do you really want YOUR kids being encouraged to hang around with prostitutes and drug dealers?
The Bible is simply not suitable for family consumption and the religion built around it is obviously dangerous. As such MediaWatch-UK has no choice other than to call for the burning of all Bibles and the cessation of all Christian programming such as "Songs of Praise" on radio and television with immediate effect. We also insist that the God Channel's license be revoked and something more becoming such as teleshopping be given it's place.