MediaWatch-UK - Join Us
Unfortunately MediaWatch-UK members have a nasty habit of dying of old age and stress induced heart attacks within a short time of joining. Due to this annoying habit we are in constant need of new people to scribe pro forma letters to the editor and Ofcom in shaky hand writing. If you haven't been laid in over a decade and would like to officially be an anally retentive, interfering git then why not join MediaWatch-UK.
MediaWatch-UK membership is extremely cost effective. In exchange for your £15 a year membership subs and a fortune spent on paper and stamps, you will have the knowledge that you are hated and reviled by anyone who values freedom of speech and expression. MediaWatch-UK is also proud to announce that we have negotiated a number of valuable discounts for our members. They include:-
- 25% off perms and blue rinses at all OldBiddy Ltd hair salons
- 25% off hair replacement therapy for all
malemembers from BaldyWanker cosmetic surgery clinics - 10% off the entire Maurice & Sinclair frumpy cardigan range
- Buy one get one free on M&S anti-halitosis mints
- FREE blood pressure check at BOOOPA health centres
- 15% discount off NoseyParker pen refills
- 10% off pre-paid funerals through Unco-operative Funeral Directors
Plus many, many more... (We had to empty our colostomy bags and when we returned we couldn't remember what they were.)
Please note that we are not a registered charity and as such membership fees and donations are not tax deductible. (We did apply for charity status but were told that we could go bugger ourselves with a pneumatic pineapple.)
We do desperately need your money, (our director Jonathon Bear spends over a £1000 a month on pornographic website subscriptions for "research" purposes and his credit card is getting dangerously near its limit,) so if you can afford, to please enclose an additional donation with your membership application. Why not considering naming us in your will as well? Let's face it if you're considering joining us you are probably demented or very old and as such are likely to die soon. Do some good in death you odious little worm!
Please send membership applications and donations to:-
Jonathon Bear
5 Fern House
Redken Road
Pineford
Kunt
TNT4 LSR
Please make cheques payable to "Cunts, Arseholes, Shites and Hypocrites" or CASH for short.
Thank you for your interest in MediaWatch-UK.